haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
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