i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
