We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
