sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
