once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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