Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
