is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Randomize
