he shaved USA in his pubs
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
