My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
