He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
