I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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