Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
