im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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