I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
