she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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