I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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