I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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