Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize