i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
you never un-have a 4some
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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