I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
