I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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