only if we run a train.
done.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Randomize