party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
No subtext here. People are naked.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
