Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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