The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Randomize
