Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
