she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
