How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
