i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
