i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
You need Xanax blowdarts
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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