Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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