i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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