Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
