I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize