well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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