is your mom at the bar?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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