We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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