We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
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