And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
My hand turned me down
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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