pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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