i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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