what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
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