I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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