We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
