did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
