Im at strip club and am horny
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
