I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Randomize
