garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
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