why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
