I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I booty called her while she was in labor.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
