Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I want to fling myself into the sun
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
