Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
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