You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
