i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
