Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
