Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
